Encouragement that Helped Me Through

27 months is a long time to walk through struggles, but we didn’t do it alone. We had each other, family, friends, and the Lord. 

In 2014, God placed on my heart to read through the bible in a year. I used a reading plan provided by my church and learned so much about God, His word, and how it affects my life.

In 2015, I felt God calling me to a year of praying for women in my life. The Lord shocked me with how much praying for others healed my hurts. I never expected that the women I was praying for would then be praying for me, but they did. Their prayers, friendship, and encouragement were many of the brighter moments during such a difficult year. 

Many of the text, posts, and emails I received were things I saved and have gone back and reread on hard days.

   
    
    
    
 
If you are walking through something that is incredibly hard, follow God’s prompting and surround yourself with trusted family and friends.

Will It Work

At the beginning of November 2015 we began our IUI process. We knew people who had many failed IUIs and we were trying to stay positive but realistic. It was scary to get too excited after all of the months of failed attempts with medicines and tests and hopes of a baby. This process of trying to start a family had changed us. We were no longer focused on what the perfect due date would be, having a beautiful way of revealing the pregnancy, or trying to put on the front of life being perfect. We were broken hearted, beat up emotionally, and needed saving from this painful experience of infertility. 

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Each week in November we were going to the doctor. We had an ultrasound to check my ovaries for eggs. We started medicine to cause my ovulation. Had another ultrasound to look for egg development and blood work to check for ovulation. We were doing at home ovulation checks for the exact day of ovulation. We had the IUI on November 13th and more bloodwork a week later to check my progesterone levels. We started progesterone suppositories  since my level was slightly low (which called for an emergency run to a pharmacy in Atlanta since not everywhere has this) and more bloodwork. 

All of this effort and we weren’t even sure if we were pregnant. We didn’t know if it was going to work. We were so hopeful, so ready to be parents. 

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We had been heartbroken many times before. We were timid and reserved with what we would share and who we would share with. We wanted our little bundle of joy, but didn’t want to have the world watching us if this didn’t work. 

I can remember praying for many things during this month. Health, happiness, a baby, God’s timing…but what I remember most about this time was praying that God use this time to pull me towards Him and not allow me to push Him away. 

Will this work? God it is all in your hands. If this gives us a baby it is only because You allowed it to work. Send us your child. Bless us with a little one to raise up in Your way. 

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After Two Years

Once we tried everything my doctor wanted to and still weren’t pregnant she referred us to two different specialists (May 2015). I decided to call the specialist where Kyle had done a medical test. When I called there was no answer. I left a voicemail but never heard back from them. I thought this was odd, but took it as a sign to not use a specialist yet. We spent the next three cycles doing no medicine, blood work, or tests. 

When we passed the two year point I called the specialist again (August 2015). Still no answer or return call. Instead of waiting or trying them again, I called the other specialist recommended by my doctor. This office answered the first time and set up an appointment immediately. 

I think the month leading up to our appointment might have been the hardest for me. I cried constantly. The thought that we needed help was devastating. Writing this now and reliving this experience has me bawling like a baby. My pride was bruised, battered, and broken. I was officially admitting that something was wrong with us and we couldn’t make a baby the way most people do. 

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Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer. Romans 12:12 This verse became my constant focus. I meditated on it daily. Prayed through it continually. We had so much hope that these doctors would be able to help us start our family. We were trying to be patient during this trying time. We focused our hearts on God and prayed constantly. He was the only way I made it through most days. After 32 months of wanting a baby and 24 months of trying to have one, we were finally ready to take the next step…we needed to seek more help than we ever thought we would have to. 

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